There are so many decisions to make when planning a wedding. Today, our AskCheryl reader is an organized bride who isn’t sure how much to spend on gifts for her attendants.
Hi Cheryl!
I have an etiquette question regarding the cost of wedding party gifts (I also read your article on the topic).We were planning on paying for accommodation and salon/hot towel barber costs, plus around $50 per gift.
I’m asking bridesmaids to wear a little black dress and pair of gold heels, any style or retailer. The groomsmen are being asked to wear a dark suit of their own, plus a shirt and tie I will pick out.
Most of them are from Kansas City, where the wedding will be held, but now live out of state – several of them also live in Ireland. Additionally, because of the travel factor, things like a bachelorette party or bridal shower will very likely not be able to occur.
Given travel costs, but considering what we will be covering, do you think $40 is an adequate cost for a gift? Thank you for your advice!
Best regards,
Katie
Hi Katie,
It sounds like you have put much thought and consideration into your wedding planning details. It’s terrific that you’re covering your attendant’s accommodations, and it seems you are doing an excellent job of pampering them and keeping their costs in check.
It also appears that you’re uneasy about how much you plan to spend on their gifts; you seem concerned it might not be enough. As you know, a gift to your attendants shows your appreciation for their love and support. Your friends can spend a lot of time and money just being a bridesmaid. Most often, they are happy to do it, but for some, it does become a financial burden.
There is no “correct” or “adequate” amount to spend on an attendant’s gift. It really depends on your budget. If you can afford around $50 per person, then that’s absolutely fine. However, if you can’t shake the nagging feeling that this amount is too small, you may consider trimming your budget in some other area to give your attendants a gift that gives you peace of mind.
No matter how much you decide to spend, do your best to find something thoughtful or meaningful, something they might cherish as a memento of your wedding. Remember that the most essential element is a personal, heartfelt, hand-written note to accompany the gift you give to each of your attendants. Tell them how much you appreciate their friendship and how lucky you are to have each of them by your side.
Here’s an article from our blog with some bridesmaid gift guidelines and suggestions- Finding the Perfect Bridesmaid Gift. Personalized gifts are also very popular. I like Mark & Graham, and they have free monogramming.
In summary, we always want our recipient to love our gift, but that’s not really something we can control. Do your best and enjoy this special time with your best friends. Wishing you all the best on your wedding day!
Photo Courtesy of Lauren Louise Collective
If you have questions or comments about this post, gift giving, bridal showers, baby showers, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email [email protected].
Questions in this column are received from readers. They may be edited for spelling, length, and grammar or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.
Cheryl Seidel is an etiquette writer and the founder of RegistryFinder.com. This intuitive search engine helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations, and more.
Nikole
Thank you for the great post