Hi Cheryl,
My husband’s brother called and mentioned that his son is getting married in a very small ceremony, and we will not be invited. However, another wedding will take place in the future, and we will be invited to that one.
Should we send a monetary gift now or wait until they have their larger wedding, if it indeed happens?
Thank you for your time.
– Gail
Hi Gail,
Your question is one that I can genuinely answer — it’s entirely up to you.
Tradition and etiquette suggest that if you receive a wedding invitation, you should give a gift, regardless of whether you attend the event. Conversely, giving a gift isn’t necessary if you are not invited to the wedding ceremony. However, there’s no rule against giving a gift even if you aren’t invited to the ceremony.
Any choice you make is perfectly acceptable. You can wait to see if you receive an invitation to the larger celebration and then give a wedding gift, or you can give a gift now in honor of the marriage. If the latter celebration takes place, you’ll have already given a wedding gift and won’t need to worry about giving another one.
You made a valid point in your question — there’s no guarantee that their future larger wedding will take place. So, if you plan to give your nephew a wedding gift, whether or not you are invited to a ceremony, you can go ahead and do it now. Or, if you prefer, you can wait until you receive an invitation to the future ceremony.
Ultimately, it’s up to you. Both options are reasonable from an etiquette viewpoint. For more wedding gift details, here’s a good article onWhen to Give a Wedding Gift.
If you have questions or comments about this post or gift giving, bridal shower, baby shower, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email AskCheryl@RegistryFinder.com.
Questions in this column are received from readers. They may be edited for spelling, length, and grammar, or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.
