This is an often asked, but short and simple question from a reader.
Dear Cheryl,
How do you let guests know about your registry? – Zena
Dear Zena,
You ask a very good question which is probably on the minds of many brides and grooms today. But it has a very simple answer — you don’t. Ok, maybe it’s not that simple; but here’s the explanation.
The wedding gift is a long-standing tradition symbolizing support for a newly wedded couple. The wedding gift registry is a great convenience for couples and guests alike (especially now that they’re online). But unless asked, gifts are not discussed, and gift registry information is not offered.
The traditional way to let people know where you are registered is through word of mouth. That may seem old-fashioned, but here are some good ways to make it happen:
- Inform your parents and wedding party so that they can tell people when asked.
- If someone offers to host a bridal shower, inform your hostess so that when asked, she can tell guests. It is also fine to include that information in the shower invitation. Etiquette suggests that it should be included on a separate card, but I really don’t think that is happening anymore.
- When you are asked directly, you should say, “Thank you for thinking of us. For your convenience we are registered with ________, but anything you chose will be appreciated.” Or something similar — just be gracious.
- If you create a wedding website, you can include your registry information there.
Resist the temptation to send out email notifications or post on social media. This is tacky. The retailer or service where you register may suggest it, but their motivation is to bring more business their way. Of course, as you probably know, it’s a major etiquette faux pas to include any mention of gifts or registries with your wedding invitation, no matter how informal.
Frankly, I created RegistryFinder.com to solve this very problem. Couple’s don’t have to inform, and guests don’t have to ask — they can look anyone up by name to find out where they are registered.
You have a lot to worry about when planning a wedding; what gifts you’ll be getting isn’t one of the things that should concern you. It’s just not within your control, so it’s better to focus on things that are. Congratulations and I hope you have a wonderful wedding day and happy marriage!
Most sincerely,
Cheryl Seidel
If you have questions or comments about gift giving or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email me at AskCheryl@RegistryFinder.com.
RegistryFinder.com is an online search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations and more.
Emails in this column are received from blog readers. Emails may be edited for spelling and grammar, or to remove sensitive information, however, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.
Cheryl Seidel is the founder and President of RegistryFinder.com, an intuitive search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations and more.
