AskCheryl: What if I’m Invited to 2 Baby Showers for the same Mom-to-Be?

Today’s question is from a reader that was invited to two different baby showers for the same baby and wants to know if she should go to both showers and buy two baby gifts.

Dear Cheryl,

I just read your article on baby shower etiquette, and have a question. I received two different baby shower invitations for the same couple. They were both family invitations, one from the mother’s side of the family and one from the father’s side of the family. I’m related to the father’s side of the family. I have bought a gift but am unsure of the protocol when two invitations are received. I prefer to buy only one gift. Please enlighten me as to what is acceptable? Thanks for the great article.

Baby Shower Etiquette -

Hi Alonna,

If you receive multiple baby shower invitations, you don’t need to attend both events. It’s perfectly acceptable to decline one of the baby shower invitations. You might say, Thank you for inviting me, but I’ve already been invited to another shower and feel I should attend that one because the hostess is my cousin.” (Just an example) Or you can simply say that you can’t make it.

If you feel you should attend both baby showers (maybe you are a very close family member), then it’s only necessary to purchase one gift and take it to the first shower you attend. These guidelines also apply to bridal showers. In a perfect world, the hosts should compare guest lists to avoid duplicates.

Thank you for writing and I’m glad you liked the article.

If you have questions or comments about gift giving, bridal shower, baby shower, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email

Emails in this column are received from readers. Emails may be edited for spelling, length and grammar, or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.

Cheryl Seidel is the founder and President of, an intuitive search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations and more.

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