– Ask a Real Bride – 6 Bachelorette Party Do’s and Don’ts

In the midst of wedding planning, a weekend getaway with your best friends sounds like the perfect break from all the stress. But in order to keep your bachelorette weekend truly stress-free, there are a few things brides may want to keep in mind.

My favorite source for wedding-related wisdom? Our @Ask a Real Bride Instagram page! Our Real Brides (and a few real bridesmaids) are sharing their do’s and don’ts for a fun weekend you and your bridesmaids will remember forever–for all the right reasons. Read on for their tips!

Weekend Bachelorette Party
Image courtesy of GoodTomiCha.com

1. DO Share Your Preferences

“I shared a general idea of the vibe I wanted and I was clear that I didn’t really want a wild night out.”

“If you have a preference, voice it and stick to it. You won’t be able to make everyone happy.”

When your maid of honor brings up bachelorette weekend plans, be honest about what sounds fun to you, and what really doesn’t. If a lowkey weekend at the lake is more your vibe than a wild weekend in the big city, let your MOH know so she can plan accordingly!

2. DON’T Overplan

“Don’t ‘overstuff’ the weekend with an elaborate itinerary. You don’t have to schedule every moment”

“Build in lots of time for rest and recovery. Unstructured, quality time is needed.”

It’s tempting to make the most of the weekend and try to squeeze in as many activities as possible. But bridesmaids agree: too many plans, dining reservations, and photo ops can get overwhelming. Build in time for slow mornings, deep conversation, silly card games, and relaxing movie nights.

popcorn and movie night
Image courtesy of theperfectpalette.com

3. DO Help with the Guest List

“Definitely think through who should be there and consider keeping the list small.”

“The more the merrier” doesn’t always apply to bachelorette weekends. While we may fantasize about all of the friends from various stages of our lives getting along perfectly, it’s not always the case. Start by inviting your bridal party (which you hopefully chose carefully!) If you want to add in additional friends, remember that you’re also adding more budgets and personalities into the mix.

beach bachelorette weekend
Image courtesy of Carlylethornton.com

4. Don’t Pressure Anyone to Spend

Far and away, the budget was the highest area of concern for brides and bridesmaids. Read on for their tips on handling finances for what can quickly become a very expensive weekend:

“Don’t pressure or guilt friends who can’t afford to come. Let them bow out politely.”

Remember: your bridesmaids’ only obligations are their dress, shoes, and travel to the wedding. Attendance at the bachelorette weekend is an optional expense, and if they just can’t swing it, be understanding.

“Encourage your MOH to be transparent about all of the required expenses upfront.”

Your girls need to know what they’re signing up for, so ask the organizer (likely your MOH) to lay out all of the major, mandatory expenses, like lodging, or any group activities that require full participation.

To avoid any awkwardness, a real bridesmaid shares why a Google form may be helpful:

“A simple Google survey that’s anonymous to the other girls can help get honest information about budget, preferences, and the length of the trip. Anonymity means no one feels like a ‘Debbie Downer’ or feels ashamed that they can’t afford something.”

While it is time consuming, investing time to work through the finances will help everyone avoid surprises later!

bachelorette party - renting a house
Image courtesy of withloveCalia.com

“Don’t book the trip/house/costly group activity until you have a head count.”

If you’re considering renting a house or splitting any other costs per person, wait to book until guests have confirmed their attendance. A large house could suddenly become a major expense if only a handful of people can attend!

“Don’t feel like you have to have all the things you see on social media. Decorations and themes get expensive.”

“Don’t get sucked into buying all the matching stuff that you and your friends will never wear again.”

It’s so tempting to ask your girls to purchase decor, matching outfits, and more. But let them initiate these details. If they choose to go all out-great! But if they keep it simple, that’s great too!

“A fun weekend doesn’t have to be extravagant. Focus on quality time!”

Don’t Expect the Entire Weekend to be a Gift
Image courtesy of soSage.com

5. Don’t Expect the Entire Weekend to be a Gift

“Don’t assume your bridesmaids are paying for your trip. They have too many expenses already!”

Brides: it’s better to ask and be told, “it’s our treat!” than to assume they’re paying and be blindsided with a bill or Venmo request. Even if it feels awkward, it’s worth it to ask and offer to pay your own way.

“Ask the MOH what expenses you can take care of for yourself. Go into the weekend with a clear understanding of what the girls are expecting you to pay for and what they’re able to treat you to.”

Whether you divvy up expenses upfront or settle up at the end, make sure everyone is on the same page about who they should pay and how much they owe.

“Suggest that your MOH start a Splitwise account so you don’t have to Venmo back and forth all weekend.”

gift basket
Image courtesy of MarigoldGrey.com

6. Do Express Your Gratitude

“Put together a welcome gift for your girls with snacks, a water bottle, and other little gifts.”

Welcome bags or baskets like the ones above aren’t necessary, but they can be a nice way to thank your girls for coming to your bachelorette weekend!

“Cover one round of drinks or dinner if your girls have traveled to be there for you.”

This isn’t mandatory, but it can be a nice touch to pick up the tab during a night out!

“Write a thank you note to each friend thanking them for attending!”

It’s no secret that I love a heartfelt thank you note! Once you unpack and recover from the weekend’s festivities, take some time to express your gratitude to each girl who attended and celebrated!

Who’s Ready for #bachwknd?

I hope our Real Brides’ advice has you feeling excited and at ease about your bachelorette weekend!

Have a Question for our Real Brides?

Let me know what topic you’d like us to tackle next! And if you’re interested in learning more about etiquette, gift-giving, and celebrating in style, be sure to subscribe to the RegistryFinder GiveIt blog for weekly posts on wedding etiquette, bridal showers, wedding trends, and of course, wedding registry guidelines and tips! And as always, refer your guests to RegistryFinder.com, where they can conveniently locate all your registries in one place!

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