Dear Cheryl,
My daughter has a 3rd wedding planned at a destination 1,000 miles from my home. She lives 20 minutes away from me.
I am 80+ disabled and on Oxygen, and I have a very fixed limited income. It would take an entire Social Security check for me to fly to her wedding, not to mention carrying a full-size POC (portable oxygen concentrator). And it is a hassle to fly with.
Should I attempt to go or be disowned forever? She changed the place where she said she was doing it.
Thanks,
Calvin
Dear Calvin,
I advise parents to make every effort to attend their child’s wedding, but if health and financial situations make traveling too difficult, you can feel free to stay home. Another factor is that this is her third marriage. I’m assuming that you were in attendance at the first two weddings.
I sense your resentment that your daughter did not consider your situation when planning her location. Since you mentioned that you might be “disowned,” it seems she feels you have the means and ability to attend the wedding, or she is clueless.
I recommend you have an open and honest conversation with your daughter about the situation. Express your desire to be there for her and your health and financial concerns. She might offer to cover the travel costs, which could help the situation. Open communication is key to any relationship, and expressing your feelings and concerns in a kind and respectful way is essential.
You are the one who knows your situation best. While family dynamics can be complex, weddings can also be beautiful opportunities for bonding. Ultimately, the decision about attending the wedding should be based on what you feel is best for you and your relationship with your daughter.
If you have questions or comments about gift giving, bridal showers, baby showers, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email AskCheryl@RegistryFinder.com.
Emails in this column are received from readers. Emails may be edited for spelling, length, and grammar or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.
