Preparing for motherhood feels like studying for a test without a study guide. From pregnancy to birth and those first few weeks postpartum, I found myself surprised by so many different stages. Those surprises can be unexpectedly beautiful, but they can feel isolating, too. I sometimes wondered, “Is this normal? Am I the only one going through this?”
I’m here to assure you; you aren’t alone.
When we brought our baby girl home from the hospital last summer, I was surprised by pretty much everything that motherhood entailed. Recovering from labor? Much harder and longer than I thought. Having to remember how to go to the bathroom? Honestly, between you and me, the first time is quite literally terrifying. Sleeping when the baby sleeps? How is that even possible?
We asked our favorite resident experts, our friends, and Real Moms to tell us of the most unexpected things they’ve discovered or experienced when it comes to motherhood. Maybe you, as a first-time mom, will discover a friend among this group of moms and realize that you’re not actually alone in those feelings! And maybe if you’re expecting your first little one soon, you’ll be a little more prepared than the rest of us with some of the weird, unexpected things that come along with this mom thing.
What’s the Most Surprising Thing You’ve Learned About Motherhood?
“There is a different treatment or cream for every orifice of you and baby.” Real Mom Mariah D.
Don’t we know it, moms? A few of our favorites include Lansinoh nipple cream for breastfeeding and pumping mamas, Aquaphor healing ointment for diaper rashes, Honest Face and Body Lotion for after bath time (and especially for when all that teething drool irritates their sensitive skin!), and Frida Baby FlakeFixer duo for cradle cap.
“I never knew how much my baby would want only me…24/7.” Real Mom Cindy B.
I didn’t write this, but I feel like I could have. I loved how much my baby wanted and needed me, but there were some days I just wanted to have my arms free for a period of time. Someone once said to me, “Almost everything is a phase, even when it feels endless.” And they were right–but it doesn’t feel that way in the thick of it. Navigating that first year, with all its seemingly endless challenges, is much more helpful when you know what’s coming next. Pick up the classic reference, What to Expect in the First Year!
“Clipping baby fingers and toenails are the WORST.” Real Mom Rachel P.
Who knew that babies came out with the longest, sharpest nails of all time?! Our postpartum nurses recommended we file, not clip, those delicate nails, and I’m so glad I found this electric nail trimmer from FridaBaby. It’s fast and gentle! Once your baby is a bit older, pick up this FridaBaby nail clipper. The tiny window gives a clear view of the baby’s nail edge, preventing cuts!
“Breastfeeding and leaking is weird.” Real Mom Jana R.
“Real talk- breastfeeding was a strange transition, not just because of the hard work, but because your boobs go from being sexy to being practical overnight.” Real Mom Natalie M.
“I never knew I could become a human pacifier,” Real Mom Sarah H.
We know firsthand that breastfeeding is filled with unexpected challenges, and we have an entire article dedicated to it: Real Mom’s Breastfeeding Essentials. As Olivia writes in that post, she never gave a thought to researching or preparing beforehand, so those first few days and weeks of doing it felt like a shot in the dark. Add in the other unexpected (and possibly painful) parts–hot flashes, leaking, chapped nipples, engorgement–and it’s definitely a weird part of the motherhood journey. Though we often hear that breastfeeding is “natural,” it doesn’t always come naturally, so don’t hesitate to ask for help. A professional lactation consultant can be a game-changer!
“Some babies don’t know how to poop when they are first born” Real Mom Olivia M.
How much we as moms obsess over poop (or sometimes the lack thereof) is astonishing. After my little one had a week of not being able to go, my sister suggested Windi. The Windi is a clever little invention by FridaBaby (which was developed by a pediatric gastroenterologist) and is the easiest way to relieve gas and calm colic. No drops or anything else is needed when you’re equipped with this safe gas-passing tool. I can personally say this thing REALLY works.
“My boys figured out how to climb out of their crib almost as soon as they learned how to walk!” Real Mom Anita M.
It’s a slippery slope from crawling to climbing. Once they’re mobile, there’s so much to see and explore, and they’ll do anything to test the limits and experience something new. Gone are the days of lounging in the bouncer seat–they are always on the go and looking for the next exciting adventure!
“That a baby could be born teething!” Real Mom Angel M
Honestly, this one surprised me too. Yikes! There’s no instruction manual for raising kids or for what to expect in the early stages of babyhood, but teething has to be one of the more challenging stages. Anytime my daughter cried, put a toy in her mouth, or drooled a little bit, everyone around us assumed she was teething. She, however, didn’t get teeth till she was close to 9 months old. Then, there are the rare cases like Angel, who had a baby teething as soon as a few weeks old. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to things like teething. It happens when it happens, and sometimes you just roll with the punches. Frida Baby does make an excellent teether set that you can leave in the fridge, so it is nice and cold when the baby needs it.
“One day he likes green beans, the next he hates them.” Real Mom Chrissy B.
Ah, solid food. Another adventure in the land of parenting. Once you get past the baby cereal or oatmeal phase and into purees and solids, it’s all a guessing game full of the unexpected. What will the baby eat today? What will they like next week that they’re refusing right now? The best advice: keep giving them new and different things. You never know when they’ll develop a taste for peas or berries.
“I’m very “shy” and to myself…well, thanks to my social son, I had to break out of my shell! I have found some life-long friends in the moms of the friends he meets,” Real Mom Chelsea B.
I am only a year into this mom thing, and stories like this one make me smile the most. To think of the people my little one and I will meet along the way, and the memories we make are the things that I look forward to so much. So many things that surprise us in motherhood are absolutely beautiful and worth sharing.
Everyone’s story is different
Here’s what I think is one of the most surprising parts of motherhood: no two kids, no two moms, no two birth stories, no two feeding journeys, no two sets of parents are the same. Everyone’s story is wildly different and yet, we all have similar daily struggles and challenges. It’s a gift to me to have a community of friends and family to raise our baby alongside, to share stories with, and to realize that babies do every single thing at different times in different ways. There’s no study guide or checklist. There are just real moms like these who’ve shared with us today, who are doing the best they can with what they’ve got and loving their babies.
If you’re a mom-to-be on the brink of this unexpected and surprising motherhood journey, you’ll love our other Ask a Real Mom posts on our GiveIt Blog. You’ll also love using our Registry Finder tool at RegistryFinder.com, where your friends, family, and baby shower guests can access all your registries in one place for easy gift-giving.