Do you know who you’ll spend the most time with on your wedding day? If you think the answer is your fiance or maid of honor, think again–it’s your photographer!

That means it’s worth taking the time to learn how to build a great relationship with your photographer, from the very first email to the wedding day itself.

A few weeks ago, followers of our @askarealbride Instagram page shared the photography questions they’re wondering about most, ranging from tips and timelines to first looks and editing expectations. I took their questions to the fabulous Jennings King of Jennings King Photography. Based in South Carolina, Jennings has been photographing weddings for over 13 years, and I think you’ll love her honest and helpful answers!

Read on for Jennings’ perspective on everything from email etiquette, pricing, shot lists, Pinterest, timelines, tipping, and more!

All answers have been edited for clarity and length. You can watch a recording of our live Q&A here, where you’ll hear a few extra questions and conversations surrounding the answers!

Jump to a Category:

• Finding your Photographer: communications and cost
• Prepping for the Big Day: dress codes, venue visits, first looks, and shot lists
• On the Big Day: unplugged ceremonies, vendor meals, and tipping
• After the Big Day: editing and social media

I hope our real brides’ questions and Jenning’s answers will help you enjoy a wonderful relationship with your photographer that results in BEAUTIFUL photos!

Category 1: Finding Your Photographer

Q: Do you have any tips for brides reaching out to photographers for the very first time?

A: The more details, the better! Don’t just send a two-line email listing the date and requesting pricing. It’s so impersonal. Tell your story! Providing details about you and your fiance, your wedding day, and your overall vision will help show your photographer if you’re a fit.

Q: If I’ve found a photographer I love, but they just aren’t in my budget–is it OK to try and negotiate the price?

A: When it comes to budget conversations, my advice is to put it out there! If the photographer’s package is over your budget, send a simple email saying, “I love your work, but unfortunately, you’re out of my budget!” It’s better to be clear than to waste time on a phone call, fall in love, and then realize you’re out of budget. Be upfront about what you can spend, and wait for the photographer to make the next move. Sometimes, they’ll be willing to work with you or recommend someone who might be a better fit.

Q: If I’ve emailed a photographer to inquire about pricing/details, and I’ve decided to go with someone else, what’s the best way forward? I don’t want to “ghost” the photographer, so what’s the best way to proceed?

A: Almost 90% of inquiries end up in being ghosted, so I appreciate this bride’s question! Just send an email saying,  “We have decided to go in another direction.” Often, I’ll ask brides, “For my business purposes, I would love to know who you chose.” Don’t be offended by that! It helps us learn more about our industry.

Q: Would you recommend hiring a friend or family member to photograph the wedding? Why or why not?

A: To put it bluntly, NO. Do not hire a friend as a photographer! 95% of people who hire friends end up unhappy, so this is not the area to save. If your friend is a professional photographer, you still need to be comfortable mixing friendship with business, and they need to be willing to sacrifice their guest experience.

Q: How can I ask my photographer to communicate more? I’m considering one with great reviews, but he took 10 days to reply to my initial message. Is this a bad sign? If I choose him, could I ask him to be more communicative?

A: This is one of the things I pride myself on doing in business: communication! I have a response rate of 24-48 hours. If out of office or traveling, photographers should have an auto-response, etc. There’s no excuse! This is a bad sign. Turn and run the other way! It will only get worse!

Category 2: Preparing for the Big Day

Once your photographer is booked, there’s still work to be done! Read on for Jennings’ tips on how to best prepare for the big day.

Q: How do you communicate to your vendors/photographer a dress code for your event?

I have never had anybody ask in 13 years, but if you’re concerned, simply communicate something like: “The dress code for our wedding is _____. I would love it if you would wear something along those lines.” Remember: even at formal weddings, vendors need to be comfortable. It’s still OK to specify things like no denim, shorts, t-shirts, hoodies, etc. If you have a themed wedding (all white, for example) and want your photographer to blend in, you should mention it!

Q: Is it OK to ask my photographer to visit the venue before the wedding? Should I offer to pay for this?

Normally, if I’m shooting a new venue, I will try to go visit, and I don’t expect the client to pay. However, it would definitely be a perk if they offered to compensate me for my time and travel expenses.

Even if your photographer can’t make time for a visit, rest assured: a professional will do everything possible to familiarize themselves with a new venue. We will spend a lot of time researching and studying a layout from the planner, and we will arrive early.

Q: How do photographers feel about Pinterest? Is it OK to show examples of poses I like?

A: My first gut reaction is that I really don’t like Pinterest. Every photographer has their own style, and we don’t want to be asked to copy other photographers. With that being said, if your venue has a staircase, for example, and you find a beautiful picture of a bride on a staircase that you like, it’s helpful to show us that. But limit yourself to showing your photographer 5-10 images you like. Remember, you can’t hold the photographer accountable for getting lots of exact shots after the fact. You want us to capture your wedding day as it unfolds.

Q: Should I give my photographer a shot list?

A good photographer should ask YOU to fill out a shot list of their own! I send my brides a shot list two months prior to the wedding, and I’ll help them determine which ones are most important.

I also send each of my brides a document I call, “Who’s Who, What’s What.” This is where I ask brides to share about any testy relationships or special details and situations that would be helpful for me to know about going into the wedding day. I ask them to write out every single name of every single person who will be involved in group pictures. This makes the process go quickly and helps me to avoid awkward groupings (i.e., if you have stepparents, etc.) I also tell brides, “Please share and discuss this shot list with both moms so there are no hurt feelings.” The more communication, the better!

Q: Is it OK to ask my photographer to help with the timeline? Or is that asking too much?

A: If you have a planner, this isn’t usually necessary. I typically work with the planner closely in helping come up with a great timeline that makes time for photos. If there is no planner, yes, creating the timeline often falls on the photographer, and you’ll want one that’s detail-oriented and willing to invest time in this area. Keep that in mind when you’re choosing someone! Your photographer can help you decide on the ceremony time and work with you to make time for your portraits, bridal party shots, etc.

Q: Do you recommend a first look? Why or why not?

A: It boils down to what is most important to you: tradition or photos? If you really want to attend your cocktail hour and get photos done early, a first look is a must. In certain situations, I’ll also recommend a first look due to the time of year (like daylight savings) or the ceremony location. If you are getting married in a church with strict photography rules or one that’s dark, a first look can help us capture your facial expressions and reactions up close!

Another factor is your personality and preferences. If you think you might be nervous or embarrassed seeing each other for the first time in front of your guests, a more private first look can be great! 

Q: My fiance really doesn’t want to do a first look. Is it possible to get good pictures if the cocktail hour is immediately after the ceremony?

Yes, but realize that you may miss your cocktail hour entirely or only get to attend 15-30 minutes of it. You don’t want your guests to wait for you! They should be enjoying themselves while your pictures are getting done.

Category 3: On the Big Day

Q: Do you recommend unplugged ceremonies? Why or why not?

A: Yes, I do! Display a friendly sign or put a note in the program. Most guests will listen, and you won’t end up with lots of iPhones or iPads in your pictures.

Q: Have you ever worked side-by-side with a wedding “content creator” (i.e., someone hired to capture iPhone photos and videos for social media)? How do you feel about this?

A: I have not, and I wouldn’t do it. My contract has an exclusivity clause that states I will be the only official photographer at the wedding. Why is this important? Having another photographer brings a lot of distraction. Even bridesmaids taking tons of cell phone photos can cause a lot of delays and cause everyone to get flustered. You’re paying a professional, so trust us to capture the day! I know brides are anxious to see photos, so I offer my clients a sneak peek 24-48 hours after the wedding. Talk to your photographer before you hire anyone else, and ask about a sneak peek!

Q: If a vendor meal isn’t in the contract, is it expected?

A: It is in my contract for me and a second shooter. Usually, this is one of the first things I ask the planner to include in the timeline! Read your contract carefully. But even if it’s not specified, it is a nice thing to do to feed your photographer and give them a little time off their feet to eat.

Most caterers or venues will offer a boxed vendor meal, and some will ask the family if they’d like to serve the photographer what the guests are eating. We really appreciate good food! We’ll often eat at the same time as guests since that’s not usually when people want their photos taken.

Q: Should I tip my photographer? How much is customary?

A: While tips are not expected, they’re always appreciated. If your photographer has helped you in extra ways, like with the timeline, or if you’ve bonded as friends, definitely find a way to show your appreciation, whether it be a monetary tip or a gift, like flowers, a food or treat delivery, or a bottle of wine or champagne.

No matter what you tip or give, a handwritten thank you note is truly a priceless way to say thank you. Another way to show appreciation is by offering to write a testimonial for their website or leave an online review.

Category 4: After the Big Day

Q: My photographer’s package includes editing. How much editing is normal?

A: We’ve seen an increased demand for not just editing but also retouching on wedding day photography. It might be helpful to clarify: as photographers, when we talk about editing, we’re referring to white balance, exposure, shadows, saturation, and sharpness. We’ve always done this and will continue to do this for every photo! But retouching is different: this refers to things like correcting skin imperfections, airbrushing out flaws, erasing flyaway hairs, etc. Thanks to Instagram filters, many brides want this. It can be done, but don’t expect it on every photo, and expect to pay more!

Q: Should I tag my photographer every time I post wedding photos on social media?

A: Yes! Anytime you share professional photography, you should tag your photographer and your planner, if you have one. It’s a good idea to collect Instagram handles for all vendors beforehand and save them so you’re ready to go when it’s time to post.

Why is it so important to do this? Because Instagram has become our referral and business platform. We rely on word of mouth! Your “tag” is the best form of referrals!

The bottom line:

Remember that your photographer is a person, too! Treating them with kindness and consideration will go a long way toward enjoying your wedding day with them by your side and enjoying beautiful pictures for years to come! And who knows – your wedding day photographer could be the person you choose to capture family photos in the future!

Have a Question for our Real Brides?

Let me know what topic you’d like us to tackle next! And if you’re interested in learning more about etiquette, gift-giving, and celebrating in style, be sure to subscribe to the RegistryFinder GiveIt blog for weekly posts on wedding etiquette, bridal showers, wedding trends, and of course, wedding registry guidelines and tips! And as always, refer your guests to RegistryFinder.com, where they can conveniently locate all of your registries in one place!