What is an appropriate gift for a second or “encore” wedding? Read on for the answer.

Dear Cheryl,

My best friend’s son is getting married for the second time, but this is the bride’s first marriage. We are very close to these people, so what is appropriate for a gift?

Thanks,
-Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Being invited to the wedding of close friends is a joyous occasion, and we generally like to celebrate these events by giving gifts. Traditional etiquette says that if you purchase a gift for the first wedding, you are not required to give a gift for the second marriage. However, this tradition is quickly becoming outdated.

You do have some options here. Were you invited to, and did you give a gift for the groom’s first wedding?

• If yes, you have the option to forgo the gift. However, since you are “very close to these people,” you will most likely wish to give a gift — but it’s your choice. Gifting is always at the discretion of the giver. 
• If not, it’s inconsequential that it is the groom’s second marriage. What type of gift is appropriate? Give a customary wedding gift. Most gifts that would be given for a first marriage are also suitable for a second wedding. If the couple has a wedding registry, you can select something from that or choose to give a monetary gift, depending on your customs and preferences. Your closeness to the couple and your budget determine how much you spend.

Sometimes, couples don’t set up a registry for a second marriage, but since it’s the bride’s first, I would bet they have one. You can ask your best friend or use RegistryFinder.com to find their registry. If there isn’t a registry, it’s OK to ask your friend for suggestions or guidance. 

Although not mandatory, a wedding gift symbolizes your support and love for the couple getting married. Whether it is their first marriage or their second, your gift is a way of wishing them a beautiful life together. 

If you have questions or comments about this post, gift giving, bridal showers, baby showers, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email AskCheryl@RegistryFinder.com.

Questions in this column are received from readers. They may be edited for spelling, length, and grammar or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.