Ask Cheryl: Appropriate Gifts for Wedding #2

This week’s question deals with gift-giving etiquette for second marriages—and in these situations, gift-givers have a few options!

Dear Cheryl,

My best friend’s son is getting married for the second time, but this is the bride’s first marriage. We are very close to these people, so what is appropriate for a gift?


Appropriate Gifts for Wedding

Hi Rachel,

Thank you for writing. You have a couple of options here.

Traditional etiquette states that if you purchased a gift for the first wedding, you do not need to give a gift at a second wedding.

Did you purchase a gift for the groom’s first wedding?

  • If yes: you have the option of forgoing the gift. However, you can give a gift if you wish to — it’s really your choice.
  • If no: it’s inconsequential that it is the groom’s second marriage. Give a normal wedding gift. Most gifts that would be given for a first marriage are also appropriate for a second wedding. If the couple has a wedding registry you can select something from that, or choose to give a monetary gift, depending on your customs and preferences. How much you spend is determined by your closeness to the couple and your budget.

I hope this is helpful. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

If you have questions or comments about this post, or about gift giving, bridal shower, baby shower, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email

Questions in this column are received from readers. They may be edited for spelling, length and grammar, or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.

Cheryl Seidel is an etiquette writer and the founder of, an intuitive search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations and more.

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