– Ask Cheryl – Our Daughter is the Flower Girl, Do We Still Give a Wedding Gift?

Hi Cheryl,
My daughter was asked to be the flower girl in my cousin’s wedding. What is proper etiquette for gift giving? We have the expense of the dress, shoes and hair as well. We also have to drive out of town for the wedding and have the added expense of a night in the hotel. Also, there is no gift registry. Any help is greatly appreciated.


Hi Stephanie,

You have a good question. It is customary for the parents of the flower girl to pay for her dress and accessories, although many wedding couples do decide to cover the cost, or a least a portion of the costs.

Unfortunately, paying the expenses for your daughter’s attire doesn’t exempt you from also giving a wedding gift. Traditionally, a wedding gift is given as a token of your love and support for the couple and is based upon your budget and closeness to that couple. However, you may choose to give a less expensive gift. It is certainly understandable that all the additional wedding expenses would affect your gift budget. Gifting is always a choice, but from an etiquette point of view, I would advise that you give them some sort of gift.

I hope that being a flower girl in your cousin’s wedding becomes a special memory for both you and your daughter!

If you have questions or comments about gift giving or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email [email protected].

Emails in this column are received from readers. Emails may be edited for spelling and grammar, or to remove sensitive information, however, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.

Cheryl Seidel is the founder and President of RegistryFinder.com, an intuitive search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations and more.

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