Today’s question comes from a reader in New York who wants to know if the amount she spends on a wedding gift should be dependent on whether or not she attends the wedding.

Dear Cheryl,

Is there a difference in the amount you spend on a wedding gift when you attend a wedding versus what you spend on a gift when you do not attend?

Roseann

Hi Roseann,

For the most part, the amount you spend on a wedding gift should not be affected by whether or not you attend the wedding. However, there could be one exception.

Since the amount you spend on a wedding gift is in part determined by what you can afford, it’s possible that you would be able to give a more expensive gift if you didn’t spend money traveling to the wedding. Other than that, your wedding gift budget shouldn’t change.

In some areas of the country there also seems to be the belief that your wedding gift is somehow tied to how much the couple spends per person for the reception. However, from an etiquette point of view, this is simply not true or a good practice.

A wedding gift is symbol of your affection and support for the couple getting married. It’s value should be based upon your budget and relationship with the couple. For an in depth look at how much you should spend on a wedding gift, check out this Ask Cheryl post.

If you have questions or comments about gift giving, bridal shower, baby shower, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email AskCheryl@RegistryFinder.com.

Questions in this column are received from readers. They may be edited for spelling, length and grammar, or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.