My daughter is getting married in August. She and her fiancé have decided to have a very small intimate wedding inviting only very close friends and immediate family, excluding many aunts, uncles, and friends. It’s their special day and they will have the wedding of their dreams.
I was wondering if it was considered good etiquette to send wedding registry information to family and close friends who are not invited to the wedding? I know that many people understand and respect this beautiful couple but would have loved to share in their wedding day – I just don’t want to offend anyone by this, but I also know that many of them want to send them a gift. Thanks for your advice.
Thank you for writing and your instincts are good in asking the question. It would
not be considered proper etiquette to send wedding registry information to anyone, even close friends and family. I’m sure your motivation is to be helpful, but if your friends and family want to send a gift, don’t worry, they will reach out and ask if they would like to know where she is registered.
Let’s back up and review some basic wedding gift etiquette — If someone is invited to a wedding, they should send a gift, whether or not they can attend. If one is not invited to the wedding, they are not expected to send a gift. While it’s fine that your daughter is choosing to have a small wedding, if you send registry information to your friends and family that are not invited, they will think you are asking for gifts and most will consider that rude.
However, it is customary to send wedding announcements right after the wedding to those that you want to inform, but were not able to invite to the wedding. Registry information is never included on any wedding correspondence, whether an invitation or wedding announcement. An announcement does not carry the same obligation for a gift that an invitation does, but it does let people know that they are important to you, and some people that receive announcements do choose to send a gift. The wedding announcement is usually sent anywhere from a few days to a few weeks after the wedding. I think this would be your best course of action. There are many nice options, like the one above, available at WeddingPaperDivas.com.
I hope this information is helpful and I hope your daughter has a wonderful wedding and a very happy marriage.
If you have questions or comments about gift giving or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email AskCheryl@RegistryFinder.com.
Emails in this column are received from readers. Emails may be edited for spelling and grammar, or to remove sensitive information, however, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.
Cheryl Seidel is the founder and President of RegistryFinder.com, an intuitive search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations and more.