Wedding planning is about so much more than the wedding: in addition to the big day, couples also have to think about the “night before!” This month’s question comes from an Ask a Real Bride Instagram follower wondering if it’s necessary to host out-of-town guests at a pre-wedding event. Read on for why a welcome party might be the answer!
Help! Everyone is traveling to us for our wedding. We were planning on hosting a rehearsal dinner for everyone because we feel like it’s a nice thing to do since they’re all paying for travel, but it’s getting quite expensive. Is this the appropriate thing to do? Or are we going overboard? At this point, our rehearsal dinner would be up to 100 people-the same guest count for the wedding reception!
The solution to this dilemma might be what’s become a very popular pre-wedding event: the welcome party!
Hosting a large rehearsal dinner is very generous, and while guests always appreciate being hosted, it’s understandable why couples and their families can’t hold large rehearsal dinners: they’re expensive and may even feel redundant if the guest list is exactly the same.
If a welcome party sounds appealing to you, read on for advice from our real brides about how to host one your guests will enjoy!
What is a welcome party?
Traditionally, many couples hosted their out-of-town guests the night before the wedding at a rehearsal dinner. But with the rise of destination weddings and the soaring costs of hosting, many couples are opting for a more casual gathering that allows them to include more guests. Hence, the welcome party!
Welcome parties tend to be more relaxed than rehearsal dinners. Instead of a full meal and formal seating, welcome parties are often similar to cocktail parties: festive events where guests come and go, mingling while they enjoy drinks and small bites! A welcome party can replace the rehearsal dinner entirely or be an additional event during the wedding week.
Who hosts?
While the groom’s family traditionally hosts the rehearsal dinner, who should host a welcome party? I took to our Instagram community of real brides to find out who’s hosting:
The most popular response is the groom’s family, and this makes sense if your welcome party is being held in place of your rehearsal dinner. If a more casual welcome party is what you envision, instead of a traditional rehearsal dinner, discuss this with your future in-laws. They may love the idea! For more on collaborating with your in-laws, check out this article.
If, however, they would prefer to host a more traditional dinner, you might consider hosting the welcome party yourself. You could keep your rehearsal dinner to immediate families and the bridal party and host a larger group afterward!
Is it ok to have a cash bar?
18% of the brides I surveyed are planning a self-pay welcome party, where guests are told to convene at a specific location but then pay for their own drinks. Is this “ok?”
What is not ok is misleading your guests. A self-pay gathering should not be called a “welcome party”–it’s actually more of a meet up, and so it would be misleading to “invite” anyone.
This kind of gathering is fine, but the way you communicate to your guests will tell them if they are being hosted or will have to pay for themselves.
Let’s talk about your invitation options and their implicit message to guests:
How should I invite my guests to a welcome party?
How you invite all depends on the type of welcome party you are hosting! Check out these results from the @askarealbride community:
Wedding Invitation Insert: Best for Hosted Welcome Parties
Though not included in the poll above, including the welcome party in your invitation suite is the best way to guarantee your guests see it, but only include it if you are hosting your guests (i.e., not if you are planning on a cash bar). Brides have asked me if it’s acceptable to print “cash bar.” I don’t recommend it! There are other, more gracious ways to spread the word about a gathering that is not hosted.
Wedding Website: Good for Hosted, Possibly Ok for Cash Bar
Your website is the most convenient place to share welcome party information, but you run the risk of guests not checking the website and missing it! Also-watch your wording! Check out these poll results from @askarealbride:
33% of wedding guests assume that an event listed on the website means someone else is covering the bill. That means a cash bar may come as an unpleasant surprise!
If you plan to have a cash bar and really want to post it on your website, be sure to use language like “meet up” or “stop by” to indicate that the welcome party is a casual gathering, not a hosted invite. But proceed with caution!
Group text: Best for Cash Bar
If your gathering is self-pay, a group text is the way to go. Ask your maid of honor and best man to spread the word. This way, guests understand it to be a casual meet up rather than a hosted event, and no one is caught off-guard.
Who gets invited to a welcome party?
Of course, if you choose to include welcome party information in your invitation suite or on your website, you are opening it up to all wedding guests. But if you are spreading the word via group text, you could only invite out-of-town guests or guests within your age group. It’s up to you!
Is a Welcome Party Right for You?
If you’d like to gather with your wedding guests in a more casual setting, with little to no decorating or planning required, a welcome party might be a wonderful addition to the wedding weekend!
Have a Question for our Real Brides?
Let me know what topic you’d like us to tackle next! And if you’re interested in learning more about etiquette, gift-giving, and celebrating in style, be sure to subscribe to the RegistryFinder GiveIt blog for weekly posts on wedding etiquette, bridal showers, wedding trends, and of course, wedding registry guidelines and tips! And as always, refer your guests to RegistryFinder.com, where they can conveniently locate all of your registries in one place!
