Couples sometimes skip the traditional registry and register for experiences like a honeymoon. But how do you communicate a honeymoon registry to your guests?
Hi Cheryl,
I have a question regarding the bridal shower for my future daughter-in-law. Guests are asking what they can get her, but the bride said that she doesn’t need anything. Instead, she suggested that people could make contributions towards their honeymoon excursions. Is there a tactful way to include this on the bridal shower invitation without it coming off as inappropriate?
I’d really appreciate any advice you can offer. Thank you so much!
Caroline
Hi Caroline,
Your question is a great one, and it’s becoming increasingly common for couples to ask for experiences or contributions toward their honeymoon in addition to (or instead of) traditional gifts. Here’s how you can navigate this situation.
Consider Whether a Bridal Shower is Necessary
First, declining a bridal shower is perfectly fine if your son and future daughter-in-law genuinely don’t need gifts. The purpose of a bridal shower is traditionally to “shower” the couple with gifts for their new life together, so if they don’t want physical gifts, they should forgo this celebration.
Create a Traditional Registry for the Shower
However, if the shower is already planned, the guests will want to bring something to the shower. There is no polite way to put on a shower invitation that the couple only wants cash gifts. The couple should create a traditional registry of items along with their “honeymoon registry.” Many couples feel their wedding is an excellent opportunity to upgrade some of their household necessities. To help, here’s our comprehensive guide to the best places to create a wedding registry.
The shower host can then include their registry information with the bridal shower invitation. Traditionally, it would be included on a separate card insert, but it is now common for shower hosts to put it directly on the invitation. This way, guests have the option of giving a physical gift or giving a cash gift. It will also let the shower guests know that the couple has a honeymoon registry when it’s time to choose a wedding gift.
Create a Honeymoon Registry
Websites like Honeyfund, Zola, and MyRegistry make it easy for guests to contribute funds for specific experiences, like excursions, meals, or activities, rather than purchasing physical gifts. This modern way to gift cash replaces the old-fashioned check in an envelope. Zola and MyRegistry are also universal registries where the couple can add anything to their registry. After creating the registries, the couple should add those links to their wedding website.
Communicating a Honeymoon Registry Without Appearing Tacky
Remember, wedding invitations or correspondence should never mention gifts or registries. The focus should always be on celebrating the couple’s union, not the gifts they’ll receive.
Gifts are always at the discretion of the giver. Wedding registries are simply suggestions, albeit helpful ones. Most guests want to give the couple something the couple will value. This is why registries were created in the first place, but they are not intended to dictate what a guest will give.
For guests who ask you directly about gifts, you can explain that your son and his fiancée would appreciate contributions to their honeymoon. You can direct the guests to the couple’s wedding website or suggest they visit RegistryFinder.com, where they can see all their registries in one place.
Etiquette Summary
- It’s not OK to dictate what guests give, even for a bridal shower.
- You can guide shower guests by including registry information on the shower invitation and the wedding website.
- Don’t agree to a wedding shower if you don’t want or need anything.
- If having a shower, the couple should include physical gifts, as well as cash gifts in their registry. If not, shower guests will be confused and wondering, “Why are they having a shower?”
- It’s OK to have a honeymoon registry for wedding gifts.
- Never include registry info on or with the wedding invitation.
The Art of Graciously Accepting Gifts
Finally, it’s important to remember that wedding guests may give gifts to the couple that they don’t need or want. The gift, whether a traditional item or a honeymoon contribution, should always be appreciated. If the couple receives something that isn’t quite right, they can return or exchange it. The most important thing is to show gratitude for the thoughtfulness behind each gift. Here’s a great guide to writing those thank you notes!
I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.
If you have questions or comments about gift giving, bridal showers, baby showers, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email AskCheryl@RegistryFinder.com.
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