– Ask a Real Bride – Should My Parents’ Names Appear on My Wedding Invitations?

Note: Featured image provided by Caitlin Elizabeth Photography. Caitlin Elizabeth Photography has all the tips for creating a beautiful flat lay featuring your wedding invitation!

If you’re not yet part of the Ask a Real Bride Instagram community, you have to join us: brides to be, mothers of the bride and groom, bridesmaids, and anyone who loves weddings will find tons of etiquette Q+A’s, fun videos, and quick tips to make wedding season more enjoyable!

One of the most frequently discussed topics are parents and in-laws, and today’s question is about how to include them on the wedding invitation:

A Real Brides asks:

“My fiance and I, my family, and his family are all contributing to the wedding. So what’s the best way to word the invitations? Should we list all 4 parents’ names? What if one side is contributing more than the other? Please help!

What this bride is referring to is called the “host line:” traditionally, it appears at the top of many wedding invitations, and signals who is hosting (i.e. paying for) the wedding.

Traditionally, the bride’s parents were the hosts by default, and so crafting the host line was quite straightforward. But the modern wedding is often a collaborative affair, with the groom’s parents contributing (and the couple, too!)

And so the host line has evolved, and economics need not be the sole factor into your decision of whose names to include. The budget (and how it’s being shared among the parents and couple) is truly no one’s business. How you choose to word your wedding invitations is a personal decision between the couple and their families.

Yes, you read that right: your families should be part of this discussion. Many parents have dreamt of the day they’d see those momentous words in print! Before you send anything off to be printed, be sure to show your parents a draft and collect their feedback.

Now, onto the examples!

3 Ways to Word Your Invitations When Parents are Involved:

To indicate that all parents are coming together to host:

List all names at the top of the invitation. The bride’s parents are listed first, with the groom’s parents on the line below.

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Andrews

Mr. and Mrs. Edward Moss

request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children

Catherine Grace

to

Thomas Geroge

Or

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Andrews

together with

Mr. and Mrs. Edward Moss

request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children

Catherine Grace

to

Thomas Geroge

Two details to notice:

  • Because the parents’ last names are listed, there’s no need to repeat the couple’s last names. Use first and middle names only, or just first names!
  • In each example, I’ve used the phrase “honor of your presence.” Traditionally, this phrase is used when the ceremony is held in a house of worship (church, synagogue, etc.) For non-religious settings, use the phrase, “pleasure of your company.”

To indicate that one set of parents is hosting, yet honor and recognize the groom’s parents:

Whether the groom’s parents are contributing to the wedding itself, or you’d just like to honor them, you can mention further down in the invitation. List the bride’s parents’ names at the top invitation, with the groom’s parents’ names below his:

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Andrews

request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter

Catherine Grace

to

Thomas Geroge

son of Mr. and Mrs. Edward Moss

Again, no need to repeat the couple’s last names since their parents’ last names are already listed.

If the couple is hosting with their families:

If the couple is also contributing to the wedding, you may skip the parents names and opt for a line like:

Together with their families

Catherine Grace

and

Thomas George

request the honor of your presence in celebration of their marriage

In any of the examples above, feel free to play with the line breaks and wording to create an invitation that suits your invitation style and level of formality. Dropping titles and middle names can create a more casual feel!

Other host line examples:

To indicate that the bride’s family is hosting:

List the bride’s parents’ names at the top of the invitation. This time, the groom’s last name (and possibly title) should appear:

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Andrews

request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter

Catherine Grace

to

Mr. Thomas Moss

What if the groom’s family is hosting (without the bride’s parents)?

One option is to list the groom’s parents’ names at the top of the invitation, with the groom appearing first. However, many families with this dynamic opt to skip the traditional host line.

What if the couple doesn’t wish to mention their families at all?

The host line can be skipped entirely:

With hearts full of love

With great joy

The honor of your presence is requested at the wedding of

In cases of divorce and remarriage:

This can get tricky. Divorced parents who are co-hosting should appear on separate lines, and not be connected by the conjunction “and,” as this indicates marriage:

Ms. Greta Smith

Mr. Robert Andrews

If there are remarriages, those spouses would be listed alongside their partners. Because this can all become wordy, many couples choose to forego a host line in these instances, or opt for a line like, “together with their families.”

In cases of death:

You may choose to list a deceased parent below the bride or groom’s name. For example:

With hearts full of joy

Sarah Claire

daughter of Elizabeth Drake and the late Eric Drake

and

Nathan James

request the honor of your presence…

For other ways to honor deceased loved ones on your wedding day, check out this post filled with advice from Real Brides.

The bottom line: your wedding invitation wording is up to you!

Sit down with your future spouse and play with all the options to word an invitation that works best for you. Remember that your wedding day is filled with opportunities to honor and recognize your families: a note in the program and/or a speech from the couple are lovely ways to express your gratitude, too!

Have a Question for our Real Brides?

Let me know what topic you’d like us to tackle next! And if you’re interested in learning more about etiquette, gift-giving, and celebrating in style, be sure to subscribe to the RegistryFinder GiveIt blog for weekly posts on wedding etiquette, bridal showers, wedding trends, and, of course, wedding registry guidelines and tips! As always, refer your guests to RegistryFinder.com, where they can conveniently locate all of your registries in one place!

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