– Ask Cheryl – My Husband Invited to a Wedding Without Me!

My husband received a wedding invitation via social media from his stepdaughter (from a previous relationship). In the online RSVP process, only his name was found.

He said he would contact her and straighten it out. I think this was intentional and disrespectful, even though we have been married for almost fifteen years.

How do I handle the situation without offending my husband? Now I don’t even want to go to the wedding because I wasn’t invited.



Hi Sara,

Understandably, your feelings are hurt. Proper etiquette suggests that married couples be invited to a wedding or almost any social gathering as a unit.

But here are a few things to consider:

  • Since the RSVP was electronic, it could have been set up incorrectly. Also, I don’t understand how your husband received his invitation via social media. Did she send him a DM (Direct Message)?
  • She might have tight budget constraints and is trying to limit her guest count. She could feel that you are not close, and she doesn’t know that it is standard etiquette to include the spouse of anyone on her guest list.

Due to the unusual and casual way his stepdaughter extended the invitation; I agree with your husband that he should reach out to his stepdaughter and determine her intent. It may have been an unintentional oversight.

If the bride intends to invite only your husband, you can decide together whether he will go alone or not attend at all. I also recommend that you forgive his stepdaughter. It’s common for young couples to disregard etiquette or others’ feelings when planning their weddings; they’re just unaware.

Emails in this column are received from readers. Emails may be edited for spelling, length, and grammar or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.

If you have questions or comments about gift giving, bridal showers, baby showers, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email [email protected].

Cheryl Seidel is the founder and President of RegistryFinder.com, an intuitive search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations, and more.

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