Ask Cheryl: Should You Give Yourself a Baby Shower?

In this week’s post, our reader wants to know if it’s OK for a mom-to-be to give herself a baby shower.


When is it proper to give yourself a baby shower for a future baby, complete with a baby gift list (registry)? Seems a little gauche to me.


Happy pregnant woman is sitting with presents at a baby shower.

Hi Larry,

Thank you for writing. Actually, it is never appropriate to give yourself a baby shower. A shower by its nature is a gift-giving event, so it’s considered rude to host a shower for oneself. It’s best to wait until a friend or extended family member offers to do so. And while there are some exceptions, it also not considered good etiquette for an immediate family member to host a baby shower. A more removed family member, such as a cousin or aunt might be more acceptable. Showers (baby or wedding) are optional events, not a requirement.

Even if there is no baby shower, it’s fine to create a gift registry for any baby. Friends and family will want to give baby gifts. Although not absolutely necessary, it can be helpful to gift givers if there is a baby registry.

If you have questions or comments about gift giving, bridal shower, baby shower, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email

Emails in this column are received from readers. Emails may be edited for spelling, length and grammar, or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.

Cheryl Seidel is the founder and President of, an intuitive search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations and more.

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