– Ask Cheryl – Should You Give Yourself a Baby Shower?

Sometimes expectant mothers are excited about their little one and want to make sure that they have everything they need. This may cause them to wonder if someone will honor them with a baby shower. In this week’s post, our reader wants to know if it’s OK for a mom-to-be to host her own baby shower.


When is it proper to give yourself a baby shower for a future baby, complete with a baby gift list (registry)? Seems a little gauche to me.


your baby shower

Hi Larry,

It is never appropriate to give yourself a baby shower. A shower by its nature is a gift-giving event, with the sole purpose of showering the mom-to-be with gifts. Therefore, it is considered bad form to host a shower for oneself. It’s best to wait until a friend or extended family member offers to do so.

It’s also not considered the best etiquette for an immediate family member to host a baby shower. While there are some exceptions and this seems to be loosening a bit, a more removed family member, such as a cousin or aunt is thought to be more appropriate.

Baby (and wedding) showers are totally optional events – not a requirement. Not everyone has the means or time to throw a party. But if you’re an expecting mom, don’t worry! Rest assured that many of your friends and family will celebrate your baby with a gift after the baby is born.

Whether a baby shower is planned or not, it’s still a good idea for expecting parents to create a baby gift registry for any baby. Friends and family will want to give baby gifts and a baby registry will be helpful to any gift giver.

If you have questions or comments about gift giving, bridal shower, baby shower, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email [email protected].

Emails in this column are received from readers. Emails may be edited for spelling, length and grammar, or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.

Cheryl Seidel is the founder and President of RegistryFinder.com, an intuitive search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations and more.

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