AskCheryl: What’s an Appropriate Engagement Party Gift?

Did you know that over 40% of all marriage proposals occur between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day? With so many engagements on the horizon, I’ll be asked many questions about engagement gifts and engagement party etiquette.

Today’s question comes from a guest who wants advice about selecting an engagement gift for a friend.


Hello Cheryl,

What is an appropriate gift for an engagement party? As this is my first, I am at a complete loss as to what to do. Can you give me some guidelines?

Thanks,
Mary


Dear Mary,

Traditional etiquette suggests that an invitation to an engagement party does not carry the obligation of a gift, so for most engagement parties, gifts are not expected or required. However, in some areas of the country and in some cultures, bringing a gift to the engagement party has now become the norm.

Additionally, close friends and family members often give an engagement gift as a warm-hearted gesture of affection, but it doesn’t need to be elaborate or expensive. Also, you don’t have to give an engagement gift at the actual party. You can give an engagement gift at any time.

Looking for some inspiration? Here are a few ideas to get you started!

Engagement Gift Ideas

 The Complete Cooking for Two Cookbook

A classic engagement party gift, this cookbook for two is perfect for couples who have a lifetime of meals ahead!

Wood and Marble Wine Coaster

A good bottle of wine or champagne is another classic gift, and a wine coaster is a special touch that the couple will enjoy long after the last glass is enjoyed!

Silverplate Frame

With so many memorable events ahead, a picture frame is a perfect gift for holding engagement and wedding photos!

 Wood and Marble Cheese Board

Beautiful on display or as a serving piece, these wood and marble cheese boards can be personalized with the couple’s initials or their new last name.

 Personalized Engagement Candle

This personalized candle is a gift, card, and keepsake all in one! Add their names, engagement date, and a special message that they can burn now, and keep forever as a cute jar.

For Family Members

If the newly engaged are family members, you might consider giving the couple a more personal gift, such as a family heirloom or keepsake, or something to use at their wedding, like champagne flutes or a cake knife

The Best Gift of All: A Heartfelt Note

The finishing touch to any gift is a sincere note of well wishes for the couple. Take time to share a favorite memory you’ve shared with the couple, a piece of marriage advice for the future, or a favorite quote about love. That’s truly priceless!


If you have questions or comments about this post, or about gift giving, bridal shower, baby shower, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email AskCheryl@RegistryFinder.com.

Questions in this column are received from readers. They may be edited for spelling, length and grammar, or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.

By Cheryl Seidel

Cheryl is a happily married mom to two adult children and has recently enjoyed being a mother-of-the-bride. Her background in product development and marketing led Cheryl to create RegistryFinder.com, a search engine for gift registries, in 2012. Long considered a gift-giving and gift etiquette expert, her firm belief is that gifting should be fun, easy, and stress-free! Readers regularly write to Cheryl about their etiquette questions and she answers them here on our blog.

4 comments

  1. Dear Cheryl:
    Thank you for the suggestion regarding an engagement gift for my granddaughter. I have some beautiful crystal and china pieces from my wedding that I will start giving my seven grandchildren as they set up their own homes.
    Regards,
    Kay

  2. My granddaughter is getting engaged and it’s a surprise for her but the families getting together for a small intimate party. What kind of gift can I bring for them?

  3. Hi Elaine,

    Traditionally, it’s not absolutely necessary to take an engagement gift to an engagement party. But since it’s your granddaughter, I’m sure you want to give her something. But it can be presented at the party or given to her later.

    An engagement gift is usually small and less expensive than a wedding gift. I often suggest a ring holder, champagne glasses, a cookbook for two, or something the couple can use for their wedding. You may have something personal you can share with her, such as a family heirloom. Another idea is to give her money to help with wedding expenses.

    A unique and personalized gift, such as monogrammed thank-you notes, is always thoughtful. As a bride, she will need quite a few of those as she goes through her wedding season.

    What a joyful time! Enjoy this season with your granddaughter.

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