It’s very common to receive an invitation to an “encore” wedding – the wedding of a couple getting married for the second or even third time. Choosing the perfect gift can be challenging, especially when it’s not their first time celebrating this special occasion, and it’s normal to wonder how much to spend.
My friends are getting married and this is the second time for both of them. How much money should I plan to spend on their wedding gift?
These days, there is not much difference in the traditions for first and second marriages. In most cases, traditional wedding gift etiquette applies. If you receive an invitation, it’s customary to send a gift, whether or not you can attend the wedding. And the amount you spend depends entirely on your budget and the closeness of your relationship with the couple. My article, “How Much Should You Spend on a Wedding Gift,” addresses this question in depth.
However, one traditional etiquette rule uniquely applies to gifts for a second wedding. Those invited to the first wedding who have given a gift are not expected to gift again for the second wedding. However, those close to the couple usually want to give a wedding present regardless.
Deciding what to buy for a more established couple is often tricky. Knowing that friends and family will want to send a gift to celebrate the occasion, many encore couples are now creating gift registries to help guests understand what they need or prefer. You can search by name on RegistryFinder.com to find out if they have created a wedding registry.
If they don’t have a registry, check out these excellent gift suggestions in our article, “Wedding Gifts for a Second Marriage.”
Some couples that have been married before and are of a more mature age will make it known that they do not want gifts. If that is the case, you can and should follow those wishes.
If you have questions or comments about this post or gift giving, bridal shower, baby shower, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email [email protected].
Questions in this column are received from readers. They may be edited for spelling, length, and grammar or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.