AskCheryl: Mother of the Bride Not Invited to the Bridal Shower?


Dear Cheryl,

My daughter’s fiancé’s aunt is hosting a bridal shower for my daughter. Should the aunt include me, the Mother of the Bride, and the bride’s two sisters (who live nearby)? My daughter is having three bridesmaids and two of them are her sisters. The aunt’s response about inviting the MOB and bride’s sisters is “that is not what is normally done.” Is that correct or are we suppose to be invited?
Thanks for your help,


Dear Denise,

Thank you for writing. You are correct and the fiancé’s aunt is mistaken. Of-course you would want to be there! As the bridal shower is by nature a gift-giving event, it is usually an intimate gathering reserved for those closest to the bride. In other words, the bride’s immediate family should always be invited to the bridal shower. Bridesmaids are always invited and sisters are always invited, and your daughters are both, so they should definitely be invited.

Even when a bride is given multiple showers, the bridesmaids are often invited to all the showers in their area. They just don’t have to bring a gift to each shower. For further details please take a peek at my blog post, “Who Should Be Invited to a Bridal Shower?”

The aunt is the hostess and can technically invite whomever she chooses. However, it is customary to consult with the bride on the guest list. Why she would choose not the invite the bride’s family is a mystery to me. Bridal showers are often one of those pre-wedding events where the two merging families can mingle and get to know one another. Whatever her reasons, I think you have two choices, ask your daughter to insist that you be invited, or drop it and move on.

Whatever happens, be forgiving and gracious and try not to let any hard feelings effect your joy or your daughter’s special day.

If you have questions or comments about gift giving or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email

Emails in this column are received from readers. Emails may be edited for spelling and grammar, or to remove sensitive information, however, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.

Cheryl Seidel is the founder and President of, an intuitive search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations and more.



, , ,

Leave a Reply