Today’s question comes to us from a second-time mom who wonders about the etiquette of creating a registry and hosting her own shower. What’s appropriate, and what’s not?
I have a question regarding a baby registry and shower. I am having my second baby (a boy) in early 2018. I have a daughter who is one and we have lots of baby stuff from her, but will need some additional items as we have a lot of pink around the house. Is it appropriate to register? I wanted to create a registry not just so others can shop, but to earn the discount at the end and also to keep track of what I have and what I still need.
I also wanted to host a sprinkle or get together at my house with close family and friends. Is it odd to do that? My mother has passed away and my mother-in-law and I are not that close, so I don’t see her throwing a little something. I am happy to do it myself, but wanted to make sure I was following etiquette as to not insult anyone.
I look forward to hearing your feedback.
Thank you for writing and congratulations!
Many people ask if they should register for their second or even third baby. The answer is “yes” — if you want to, you absolutely should. From an etiquette point of view, there is nothing wrong with registering for your second or even third child. A registry is a great tool for those that want to buy you a gift. It gives them confidence that they are buying you something you want and need. It’s not a request, but a suggestion. Your friends and family can use it or not, but many people appreciate that they are not left guessing at what you need. For more information, please see our blog article, “Top 5 Reasons to Create a Baby Registry for Your 2nd or 3rd Child.”
While creating your registry is definitely appropriate, the same cannot be said about hosting your own shower. This is one etiquette “rule” that does not have much wiggle room. It’s totally understandable that you want to get things in order for your new baby boy, but you should not host a baby shower for yourself. Calling it a sprinkle does not change that. Any shower is, by nature, a gift-giving event so it can come off as a bit tacky to have one for yourself. Please see my article, “Should You Give Yourself a Baby Shower?”
My advice is to wait until a friend or relative offers to host a shower for you; then you can let her know your preferences on size and location. A baby shower is nice to have, but not a necessity. Be patient and see if someone offers.
Wishing you all the best,
If you have questions or comments about this post, or about gift giving, bridal shower, baby shower, or wedding etiquette, please comment below or email AskCheryl@RegistryFinder.com.
Questions in this column are received from readers. They may be edited for spelling, length and grammar, or to remove sensitive information. However, we are careful not to alter the intent or content of the question.
Cheryl Seidel is an etiquette writer and the founder of RegistryFinder.com, an intuitive search engine that helps gift givers quickly and easily find online registries for weddings, baby showers, graduations and more.